U – Understanding
Being understanding means being sensitive and using empathy so that young people feel heard, validated, and respected.
- Sensitivity
Young people have told us that they like options to meet in-person, online, or over the phone and they might prefer different options on different days. You shouldn’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, but offering as much flexibility as you can will really help.
It’s also really helpful to support young people to go through HOPEFUL in a way that works for them – e.g., the number and length of meetings they have with you, the number of modules and activities they do, and how they do the activities – including whether they do them alone or with you.
We suggest activities for each module and their order, but you don’t have to stick to this if that isn’t what the young person wants to do. We also provide options (A and B) for most activities so that young people can choose the one they like best, e.g., writing versus drawing.
When it’s something stressful that I eventually did, if a mentor is like, “Oh aren’t you proud that you did it,” I find that like a little bit like annoying. It’s like, ‘No, I had a miserable time and I hated it’. I don’t need you to be like, “Oh you did it, you succeeded.
Encouraging someone to do takeaway activities for homework, but if they don’t do it, don’t make it a big deal, “It is up to you, if you’ve had a stressful week, if you don’t have time to do it, it isn’t the end of the world and we can have a quick look over something at the beginning of whatever session if you do need to know anything”.
- Empathy
Empathy can be defined as walking alongside someone else. Empathy is about connecting with someone else’s difficult experiences, thoughts, and feelings. Empathy involves being able to sit with a young person’s negative emotions or thoughts, without trying to fix them.
You can show empathy by being present with the young person in the moments when they are experiencing difficult or overwhelming feelings – letting them know that you understand and that you are there for them. It’s about communicating that you are listening, that you understand how difficult an experience this must be for them, and that you care about them.
Hope means really attending to a person no matter their situation, having compassion, proper listening, proper attending. You can instil hope by not speaking, just sitting beside somebody and listening to their story, sharing their plight. Instilling hope is about trying to resist being prescriptive. It’s about having real empathy.